Recently a friend of mine posted a link to this blog post about being a working mom and the ways in which we tend to sell ourselves short and beat ourselves up for being, or rather, feeling, “mediocre.” You should read it. Maybe with a tissue. Because it’s all true.
But being a working mom also means taking things in stride and, I hope, with a sense of humor about those moments that I can only categorize as less than stellar (or maybe they are stellar in their own way). At any rate, after a good deal of research (read: a Facebook call-out to working moms), I present to you a celebratory enumeration of working motherhood gone beautifully astray. Let’s own it, ladies (and if you haven’t already, note that you probably will)*:
You know you’re a working mom when…
You’re pumping on a conference call and assuring the folks on the other end of the line that the funny noise in the background must be a bad connection.
You pump in the car in a parking lot or while driving, in the office, in a broom closet, on the 12-foot bow of an open boat with an all male crew, in a public bathroom and/or in an airplane bathroom at 30,000 feet.
You find yourself humming the theme song to Team Umizoomi at your desk.
You go to work wearing stickers, your daughter’s barrettes, and remnants of your child’s breakfast on your shoulder (sometimes digested, sometimes not).
You are so busy you forget to pick up your kid from daycare and/or you drive all the way to work and realize you never dropped your kid off at daycare because he is still in the backseat.
You ask your coworkers if anyone has to pee before you all head out to lunch.
You go to pull out a pen from your purse to take notes at a meeting and pull out a pacifier/toy car/burp cloth/a pair of your kid’s underwear.
You label your child’s lunch with the words “lunch” instead of his or her name.
Your pump bag has become your work bag (why carry two bags when that Medela bag is so stylish?).
You forget your cooler bag at work and put your pumped milk outside your windowsill in the snow to keep it cool.
You take a conference call in the car and in your multitasking glory, you forget to buckle your son in to the carseat. Your son announces to the folks on the other end of the call that he isn’t buckled.
You wear two shoes that don’t match to work … and think, “Eh.”
You have the strong urge to spell out anything sensitive at work.
After a meeting you comment to one of your colleague’s that your boss is wearing his “grumpy pants.”
You find yourself using baby wipes to clean up EVERYTHING: butts, faces, countertops, floors, couches, tables, and yesterday’s makeup.
Your kid makes a mess in his diaper as you’re running out the door… so you put him in the car and let daycare deal with it.
You excuse yourself from a meeting because you “have to go to the potty” or “have to go to Tinkletown.”
You walk out the door into your garage with shoes on, lunch and baby bag packed, work bag, and kid on your hip… and realize you have forgotten to put your pants on.
*Extra special shout out to all the hard working mammas out there who contributed their stories. You are all my heroes, even after all of the above.